Avi Lewis' Funny Fundamentalists

An open letter to all those who made the smart choice and watched Avi Lewis' show on CBC last night ("The Big Picture with Avi Lewis Part 2 - The Root of All Evil - Is religion the root of all evil in the world?")

I needed to sleep on it, but now I've come up with the Funniest Fundamentalist Freaks from Avi's show last night. Ok, so I didn't really need to sleep on it or even think about it for more than a second, but, hey, it was late last night and some people need to get to bed by 3:00... or at least 3:30.

Here's the list:

1) Fundamentalist American Christian Guy in his giant church telling Richard Dawkins that a) the Bible contains not a single contradiction and b) the Earth being billions of years old is "just a theory" (it is, of course, actually only 5,800 years old or so, according to "the Bible tells me so" Fundamentalist Crowd).

2) Fundamentalist Canadian Christian Guy in the studio who told us that "the Bible interprets itself". That one was so good the studio audience/panel/debaters all broke up in laughter, just like I did at home. It must have been hard for Avi to not crack up himself.

3) And, of course, there was Fundmentalist Muslim Jew Guy From Brooklyn Now Living In Jerusalem with his great one-liners about how Richard Dawkins doesn't dress his women properly. Now that guy was classic!

Who knew fundamentalists could be so funny. Ok, we all knew, but still... I mean, I really wasn't expecting to laugh so much. But we had Richard Dawkins, who was intentionally quite funny, and then all these fundamentalist freaks who, aside from being quite scary of course, were also pretty damn hilarious themselves, even if it was totally unintentional. Maybe we could get these three guys I listed above their own TV show on Comedy Central. They wouldn't have to rehearse or anything. They could just come out and do their thing on stage and I'm sure we'd have a hit comedy series on our hands. Think of it, getting rich off of fundamentalism. I bet no one's ever thought of that before.

Mike Cowie (Oredakedo)
Thursday, September 21st, 2006

An even funnier joke

So you think that those who believe the Bible are funny? Well then you'll love this. Are you ready? OK. Even though you mock and ridicule God, He still loves you. That's right. Not only you, but all of mankind (myself included) who have rebelled against Him, refusing to give Him thanks for what He has given us. The holy God who created the universe and everything in it, who made you and me in His image for His glory loves us (and what did we do? We turned our backs on Him, and said "forget you, I'll be my own god, thank you very much"). In fact, He even made a way to love us despite our rebellion. Although the wages of sin is death (such blasphemy as rebelling against an absolutely Holy God cannot go unpunished), Jesus came to earth to take that punishment for us. He died our death, and gave us His righteousness, so that we could live forever with him. Are you laughing yet? All you have to do is admit that you were wrong to rebel, turn around, and follow Jesus. Just accept His death as payment for your sin and recieve His free gift of righteousness. Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead and you will be saved. All your rebellion will be forgiven. I have already accepted this offer and I hope you will too. It's eternal life, absolutely free. I know, it sounds too good to be true. That's why it's so funny. The Holy God who created the universe loved us enough to die in our place and give us eternal life for free. Hallelujah!

You're right, that is pretty

You're right, that is pretty funny.