Fightback & Counterattack: Vatican Says Church Sex Abuse of Kids Not Really Pedophilia

For those of you who thought the Catholic Church was truly feeling some deep remorse about the tens of thousands of children who have been molested by priests over the years, think again.

Self reflection, shame and remorseful regret?

Are you out of your mind?

How about a defiant counterattack in the face of unjust criticism and slander?

Oh yeah, you heard that right, the Vatican has indeed just lashed out at its critics - that is, those who say it hasn't done enough to uncover and stop the abuse - claiming that the abuse is just as bad, if not worse, in other religions and dominations.

That's right, people, the Catholic Church - according to the Catholic Church - is actually one of the world leaders when it comes to low sex abuse rates among clergy.

You want real sex abuse? Check out the Jews, Protestants, Muslims, and Hindus. And, for Christ sakes, don't forget those filthy-minded Buddhists.

Pedophilia, Schmedophilia

Even more ballsy than all this finger pointing at others and insinuations that the whole thing has been blown out of proportion by the media and those whiny little "victims" is the claim that none of this has anything to do with pedophilia.

Yes, that's right, according to the Vatican none of this is really about pedophilia, rather it's all about raging ephebophilia (the homosexual attraction to adolescent males).

In other words, it's not so much about sexual abuse as it is about gay priests, to quote the Vatican, "engaging in sex with adolescent boys between the ages of 11 and 17".

What a relief! And to think that I had felt sickened by all this alleged abuse, when really it was never anything more than teenage (and prepubescent) boys "engaging in sex" with their priests.

I don't know about you, but I'm convinced by all this and I think it's high time that people began to lay off the poor misunderstood Catholic Church.

Minuscule Numbers

Oh and one other thing: the Vatican also said that "only 1.5%-5%" of Catholic clergy are involved in child sex abuse.

I know that some may argue with such low numbers, but, personally, I know the good Church has nothing to hide and these numbers are probably pretty accurate.

So, using the 5% figure, with a worldwide Catholic priesthood of more than 400,000, that means there are only about 20,000 Catholic priests presently involved in child sex abuse. And those twenty thousand on average are only molesting, say, half a dozen to a dozen kids at any one time, right? So, at worst, there are only between 120,000 and 250,000 kids being buggered and fondled by their clergy in any given month.

That's nothing! Not even when you add in the thousands of others who claim to have been abused by non-priests, such as the Christian Brothers in both Newfoundland and in Ireland, where a government inquiry found rape to be "endemic" over a period of decades, or when you include the tens of thousands of Natives who suffered abuse in Canada's notorious residential schools.

No, I think it's pretty clear, the Vatican is right, there simply isn't anything to be concerned about here.

Especially since, once again, we're not actually talking about pedophilia, but only priests "engaging in sex with adolescent boys".

Lighten up everyone, priests have to have a little fun too, you know.

Hasn't the Church been put through enough already? Seriously, if you're looking for a real victim in all of this, look no further than the poor misunderstood Church.

I'm so glad they stood up for themselves and finally set this matter straight once and for all.


However, before I go I do have one question that's been troubling me just a little: When a person, such as a 12-year-old boy, is being buggered by his friendly neighborhood priest does it really matter all that much whether you call it "pedophilia" or "ephebophilia"? Just wondering.

Mike Cowie (Oredakedo)
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009


And on the very next day after I had posted the above piece the following story broke: Nova Scotia bishop wanted on child porn charges


For more on this topic try this: A Narcissistic Sociopathic Cult-Running Ultra-Conservative Child-Diddling Crusader For Christ


Or this: Ridiculous & Religulous: Yet Another Catholic Sex Abuse Scandal & Bill Maher's Take On Religion


Or, if you're more in the mood for a good laugh, watch this hilarious clip: Traditional Biblical Marriage Explained (by the great Betty Bowers)


For more on Religion click here: Religion


And for lots more on politics of all types visit the Politics Homepage


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Another 20-plus comments

You can read another 20-plus comments posted in response to this piece on The Georgia Straight's site here.

What about the girls?

What about the girls? From some things I've heard from these child-abuse apologists, girls don't count because that's considered "normal" sexual curiosity on the part of the priests. No, seriously. But let's not let them off the hook with regard to the innocent little girls upon whom they've forced themselves with no regard for their victims' dignity, rights, or future happiness. And I'm not just condemning the direct perpetrators of these crimes when I say this: the sociopathic, predatory behavior of these priests obviously extends to the institution which protects them. And why do they get away with it so often? Because we as a society respect religion out of all proportion to its merits, and favor to the extent of a fetish its institutions and practitioners. It's high time for ALL to be considered "equal in the eyes of the law." Yes, even those who pretend to be above it while pontificating about "natural law" and morality. Hypocrites! Death to the church.

This shit with the Vatican

This is one of the reasons I excommunicated myself from the RC Church and became an Anglican/United/Bhuddist hybrid...


Why can't the Vatican just admit that the abuse of boys in the church is what happens when you take a group of sexually insecure young men; force them to be sexually repressed, guilty about their adult sexuality, worship outmoded hierarchy and POWER structures, and then let the alcohol flow in a men's club that is out of touch with modern reality and gender equality. Mental illness and egotism waiting to happen. [sorry I am not of the opinion that Pedo or hebophilia is an actual sexual orientation or ingrained condition - it is a subversion of someone's natural adult sexuality for many reasons and cure-able or at least controllable - certainly preventable.] But this shit with the Vatican is totally going the other way.

Stephen E

Vatican stats and PR

The Vatican's PR efforts have bandied about this 2-4% stat before and no one should buy it. Why you ask?


How can any organization be believed when they have a history of covering up the truth? The real percentage of catamite loving clergy is upwards of 20%. This percentage has been calculated by multiplying the number who have been caught by a factor of 7. Seven being a "holy" is only fitting to use it to delineate the enormity of this scandal. I could have multiplied by a factor of 10 but that would mean that virtually everyone growing up Catholic was buggered by their priest. It's more probable that a few escaped least in the physical sense if not psychologically.


If this obscene perversion is rampant in North America can you imagine what goes on in Africa? How many millions in charitable donations is spent keeping missionaries crotch deep in pliant victims for the fulfillment of their twisted sexual fantasies? SMBs

The Papal Association of Man Boy Loving Assholes

The Vatican's newly formed team of priests tasked with finding and rehabilitating ephebophiles, the Papal Association of Man Boy Loving Assholes, has cornered an alter boy buggering priest in the confessional.....we bring you live to witness this gutsy new initiative:


Priest: You'll never take me alive! I swallowed the evidence see. PAMBLA: Que? Priest: I mean..what do you want? Bingo doesn't start until 7pm. PAMBLA: You can't carry on like this any more Father. We have to put a stop to your sinning. The Holy Father has developed a therapy for all priests that we think will change the public's perception of us for the better. We're here to take you to a retreat where you'll be forced to watch child porn from morning until night until you're sick of it. We're sure that will change your evil ways.


From the retreat


Priest: I don't understand....I thought I'd be watching films. You're actually making movies here. PAMBLA: Why do you think we're called PAMBLA.....we like irony? Priest: But you said I was to be rehabilitated for sinning. Why all the child porn? PAMBLA: That altar boy was a prime piece of chicken and you didn't share. Let this be a lesson for you. If you behave we'll let you star in one of our productions. The aim of the Vatican is to take all the fun stuff out of the public eye to a select few remote locations. Instead of local kids who might talk we'll provide you with orphans and refugees. You think we maintain third world missions for nothing? Relax...we've got your back. SMBs

A convenient facade to hide an earthly power-structure

The spirituality of the Vatican is nothing but a convenient facade that hides the reality of an earthly power-structure going back to early medieval/late Roman times. It would not be too far-fetched to describe the Catholic Church as a living remnant of the Roman Empire. One needs to consider the power of the Church in medieval times and take into account the history of the exercise of that power to fully appreciate that all this comes as no surprise. In fact, if you consider current politics in Canada, you will find that the Pope's representatives in Canada feel they have a right to pontificate on election issues and intervene in the democratic affairs of our nation. Consider what the Papacy did with the liberation theology-inspired priests who tried to bring justice to the majority people of Central and South America and then think about this attitude towards abusive priests—the Church authorities are clearly on the side of oppression in spite of the decency of many of the Church's followers. Lawrence Boxall


I appreciated your article re Vatican and child abuse. Best wishes, JP

Woe be unto Them

There is nothing I could bring to this discussion , that would bring Justice to these Vile Cowards, who use the very thing they Preach ,to subjugate, and Rape the innocent. Then hide behind their Cloaks and retreat in darkness. I have personal knowledge of the Crimes in the Catholic Residential Schools.There was little learned there by the students, other than cruelty and unspeakable acts of violence.People knew about what went on there long before some poor tortured soul told. Who really would have cared back then, about some "reservation trash", lucky, that "WE" were giving them an Education. My Heart has always been with them, many of whom ended up on the streets of Vancouver, with nowhere to go but down. These so called "Holy Men", "Men of GOD", that committed , and still are committing, these Crimes against Humanity, have to be shoved kicking and screaming into the light by their Brethren ! There is one Saving Grace that I console myself with, most of these ugly Humans believe in a Judgment Day as do I.So Be It .

Judgment Day

"...most of these ugly Humans believe in a Judgment Day as do I.So Be It ." I don't. But, like you, I'm glad they do (if they do--it seems to me the probability of duplicity among the priesthood with regard to their erroneous teachings would be pretty high).