Worst Songs Of All Time
The Sound of Saccharine: The Sour "Honey" Rant
Ok, contrary to what some of you may believe, I have no problem admitting when I've screwed up. And it appears that in this case I most certainly have. A couple of days ago I was informed that I had left an excruciatingly bad, and poll altering, song off the Worst Song of All Time Poll list last month. My friend Chris, who informed me of this crucial omission, was adamant that it belonged on the list and that people would have voted for it if only given the chance. Well, feeling her passion, and not yet understanding the root cause of her feelings, I went and found it on YouTube and now, after having heard it, have no choice but to agree with her that the final results of the poll are completely distorted.
The Nation Built On "Zed" Rant
It is a feeble country indeed that attaches itself so passionately to a zed. What the hell am I talking about? Well, last summer my friend Ken hooked me up with an Alphabet website that his daughter Mhari was totally into. And ever since then we've been checking out a few A, B and Cs here at our place just about every single day. Kaishan loves it and he especially loves to sing "The ABC Song", almost as much as he loves singing "The Birthday Song" and Todd Snider's "Age Like Wine". Well, whenever he sings it with a certain type of person around you should hear the almost-deafening roar that ensues once he gets to "zee". "Zee is not Canadian!" the loud protests echo throughout our new house, as Kaishan looks around confused while making a valliant attempt to finish the song with the "Now I know my ABCs..." coda.
"Zee is not Canadian", the indignant and proud Canadians proclaim again and again.
The Let's Get It Together Canada Rant (Canadians Among Worst Environmental Degraders In The World)
As every Canadian should already have heard by now, we are, per capita, the worst contributors to greenhouse gas pollution and, thus, global warming in the world. But this isn't the only thing that has distinguished us, or at least our government, as pathetic in recent times. No, when it comes to the environment, we're truly world leaders and, as of late, world famous for our resource-gobblin', nature-destroyin', bottom-trawlin' and overall-environment-thrashin' ways.
The Modern Times of Bob Dylan Rave (A.K.A. The Modern Times of Johnny and The Mighty Bob Rave)
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Ok, so about 34 hours ago I wrote you about my great anticipation and excitement concerning the imminent release of Bob Dylan's new CD "Modern Times" and I sent along that 5-out-of-5-stars review/rave from Rolling Stone Magazine. Well, yesterday I picked up the CD while out running around for the day. Unbelievably, it wasn't until later that evening that I got home and finally was able to listen to the bloody thing. I sat down for my first two listens together with a couple of nice cold Pilsner Urquells (the original Pilsner from the city of Pilsen in the Czech Republic). The perfect combination: A brand new Bob CD and a couple of cold beers... and my son, Kaishan, dancing all around the room to the sound of the new music.
The Bob The God Mini Rant 'n' Rave (Dylan Clearly A God of Yore)
There's been some talk, maybe a little too much talk. And I've now been led to believe, from the comments of a few friends, that some people think that I actually believe Bob Dylan to be beyond criticism, that is, that he's somehow completely beyond reproach. And that, I've really gotta tell ya, is so far from the truth it's not funny. Yes, it is true that I've often referred to The Bob as a "god", but, what you've got to understand here is that my gods are a lot more like those old Greek and Roman gods than the supposedly-infallible god (God) of the Judeo-Christian tradition.
