The Bob The God Mini Rant 'n' Rave (Dylan Clearly A God of Yore)
There's been some talk, maybe a little too much talk. And I've now been led to believe, from the comments of a few friends, that some people think that I actually believe Bob Dylan to be beyond criticism, that is, that he's somehow completely beyond reproach. And that, I've really gotta tell ya, is so far from the truth it's not funny. Yes, it is true that I've often referred to The Bob as a "god", but, what you've got to understand here is that my gods are a lot more like those old Greek and Roman gods than the supposedly-infallible god (God) of the Judeo-Christian tradition. Just as the Greek gods spent a great deal of their time lusting after mere mortals, killing, warring, and generally just creating havoc and being all-around petty in so many different ways, so, too, is it with my gods, who also may be described as slightly less than perfect.
Take The Bob for instance. Here's a god who's brilliant in so many ways, yet who is still capable of releasing pathetically bad songs or even whole albums (anyone listened to "Saved" recently?). Not only that, he's also capable of: 1) converting into some sort of horrible homophobic, fire-and-brimstone preachin' weirdo for a few years at a time; 2) wearing some pretty hideous on-stage costumes; 3) licensing his songs out for Bank Of Montreal and Victoria's Secret ads; 4) writing songs glorifying cold-blooded mobsters ("Joey"); and 5) most disturbing of all, co-writing, back in 1991, a song ("Steel Bars") with Michael Bolton and then another one, in 2003, ("Waiting For The Morning Light") with Gene Simmons. Yes, THAT Michael Bolton! And, yes, THAT Gene Simmons! What does all this say about The (divine) Bob? Well, obviously he doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks of him. And, just like an old Greek god of yore, he'll do whatever he feels like.
And, hey, it's not all that bad. Look at that jealous, angry, bloodthirsty god (God) of the Old Testament. He could be pretty petty (you know, "Look back and I'll turn you into a pillar of salt" and all that crap), but everyone's always making excuses and rationalizations for Him and, besides, He never released any albums anywhere near as great as "Blood On The Tracks", "Blonde On Blonde" or "Highway 61 Revisited". Ah, but, then again, to be fair, Old Testament God never went through an embarrassing sweatsuit-hood-wearin' period now either, did He?
Mike Cowie (Oredakedo)
Thursday, November 3rd, 2005
To read my two - yes two - recent rave reviews of Tell Tale Signs click here: Bob's Back: Tell Tale Signs of Joy... and A Complete Lack of Judgement
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